BOZZA!

by DaltZ

[As May reigned] ‘Men said openly that Christ and his Saints slept’

Anglo-Saxon Chronicle

A bumbling buffoon, a child tackler, the blonde bombshell, yes Boris has arrived and he has arrived in style. Exploding onto TV screens, our new Prime Minister is here and he’s making a lot of noise. Wasn’t it nice to watch a Prime Minister at the dispatch box talking positively about the future of our nation? It was truly refreshing to look at the front benches and see happy smiling faces rather than the depressed drab demeanour of the last administration. Theresa May’s leadership qualities are akin to those of King Stephen, non existent. Her legacy has cast a long dark shadow on our nation and arguably caused irreparable damage to the relationship between the great British public and parliament. However, is Boris really the man to heal these wounds? Well this rural patriot sincerely hopes so.

How great is it now that there is someone at the helm of our great nation that actually possesses the leadership ability to steer this nation forward into the ‘Post-Brexit Golden Age’. Someone with a positive vision for the future, a man determined to see his vision manifest into reality. A leader willing to threaten the quisling Eurocrats with a No-Deal Brexit and a Prime Minister with the balls to say no to the civil service. As we speak, the Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster (Michael Gove) is ramping up domestic preparations for a No-Deal Brexit. A process which any competent leader would have started on June 24th 2016, but here we are nevertheless. The carefree approach to Brexit our nation has been portrayed to have taken by the international media is a fair enough take on the situation. Leaving the real substance and workload of the matter until the last minute and to allow the enemy to sweat before circumstances swing in our favour. It is a time tested British tactic. The false retreat worked at Waterloo and Napoleon’s old guard were crushed. Now it looks as though the EU severely underestimates Boris, he has Turkish blood remember, he’s a hard man not afraid of a tussle. And frankly, the EU aren’t strong willed enough to take on the Boris. One need only look at the cabinet he has assembled for Her Majesty. A cabinet united behind the goal of getting this nation unshackled from the undemocratic institutions of the EUSSR come October 31st

The bigots will cry ‘rich’ and ‘posh boy’ as if him being born into a successful family makes him less suited for the office of Prime Minister (remind me how much Jeremy Corbyn’s parents were worth again?). Yes, Boris was raised in the ways of the British upper class, but this is not smear, the British elite historically have been champions of the poor, social activists and heroes of workers rights. Contrary to prevailing modern narratives, this is why our monarchy has survived and thrived in recent centuries while many of our European neighbours shunned their history.

Boris is first and foremost a Brit and a patriot, an energised man who is ready for the task. A defendant of immigrants and a child of many nations Boris is an oddity, a truly intriguing individual. And yet, here is just something so quintessentially British about him. He looks like he’s poorly constructed; he is more presentable in an un-ironed cheap suit than an expensive tailored one, and he fumbles through every sentence he attempts to articulate, yet always manages to get his point across clearly and concisely. He is a true British stoic, not afraid to take decisive action and make clear decisions. Yes, he is a leader resolute in his mindset. Just what our weary, tired nation needs right now.

I myself am a simple man of the Yorkshire countryside. I’ve never voted Conservative and I wanted, and expected, to hate Boris, but I can’t. He’s the first Prime Minister this nation has had since the late Baroness Thatcher to have a proactive vision for the future and most importantly, he has a can do attitude. Indeed, he is also our first remotely conservative PM since the aforementioned Baroness. Britain is the nation with the greatest tale and I sincerely hope our new leader will lead island home into a new age and restore Britain’s rightful title as ‘the greatest nation on earth’. It pains me to say this as a lifelong nemesis of the evil institution that is the Conservative party, but I believe Boris is our next great leader. And for the sake of my fellow countrymen and my nation, I pray I am not mistaken.

Boris is engaging in all the conversations that have been pussy footed around throughout ‘The Short Anarchy’ of the last administration. He is looking beyond the isolated London bubble, to the real Britain. Promising investment for northern communities like mine, which have been in effect completely ignored since the beginning of the Blair horror years. He’s promised 20,000 desperately needed extra police to tackle the ballooning crime wave in London. Which is making our ancient capital resemble more of a war zone, than the bastion of international trade and culture that London truly is. Yes the Bozza is talking the talk, but will he walk the walk? Only time will tell.

(Also a quick side note, if you genuinely believe Boris is a fool and not a hyper intelligent political strategist then I’d seriously encourage you to do more research into him.)

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