Trans-Whites: The New Frontier of Racial Identity

by Frank Brosell

A new and disturbing trend has dawned upon the world of racial identity, as numerous reports of ethnic minorities, particularly black people, are now identifying as white.  

John Smith, who was born as Tyrone Simmons, shares his story.

“I had always known in my heart that I was a white man.  There was just no other way to explain all of these strange feelings I had.”

When we asked John when he first knew he was white, the answer was shocking and unexpected.

“The day that I knew for sure was when my momma caught me trying to wrap one of her dress-belts through my jeans, because they kept falling off.  I will never forget that look of bewilderment on her face. It was like she knew there was something wrong with me. All of my brothers loved to wear their pants down to their ankles if they could.  Not me though. It always felt weird to me having my pants slide off my behind.”

Naturally, we were skeptical of John’s claims but we kept an open mind.  We asked how he lived as a trans-white man in a black family. His response was heartbreaking.

“They are all in denial.  They act like I am only doing it for the privilege.  They are wrong. Why would I choose this privilege over my own flesh and blood?  I still get called all kinds of names and labels. ‘Coon,’ ‘house-ni**er,’ ‘white-washed’… white-washed is the most offensive one!  It completely ignores my reality. The reality that this was not a choice on my part. Is it my fault I was born this way?”

But that was not all.  John explains to us that his whiteness runs deeper, and ironically, darker.

“Other white people look at me and think ‘Oh, he’s just another American living the dream!’ or worse, ‘Well, he’s just another outlier.’  They have no idea what they are talking about. My love of capitalism, individuality, democracy, my search to form a nuclear family…all of that, comes from the fact that I am a White Man.  It has nothing to do with my principles, morals or sense of national pride. It is my whiteness. It has to be… ya know,” he adds, “there are even days where I am certain I almost dislike black people.  Always in the back of my mind, I know they have only themselves to blame. All of the crime, broken families, their dependence on welfare, it’s gotta be their own doing. I know that’s wrong, but only a white man could have these thoughts ya know?”

We were more than disturbed by John’s thoughts, but when we politely tried to change the subject to the benefits of his White Privilege, things got very awkward.

“What PRIVILEGE!?” he yells almost instantly.  “I worked for every damn thing I have with my blood, sweat and tears, AND I pay the government through the nose in taxes just to keep enough profit so I can do it again for another year!  I don’t get anything in welfare, and my competitors are paying illegal immigrants under the table to cut corners in the market! I am getting reamed just for doing the right thing and playing fair!”

John is a small business owner with a sports car and lives alone in his own home, all of which is bought and paid for through earnest saving, like a typical white man.

We can only hope that as John continues on his journey that he will eventually learn to check his privilege, although that does not seem to be happening any time soon.

 

[SATIRE]