By Chris Rickerson
The New York City Antifascist is a strange animal. ANTIFA is a creature devoid of self awareness, critical thinking skills, a sensitivity to irony or hypocrisy, and has a great love of the soybean. I risked my safety and well being, and possibly my life, and went deep undercover and observed these gentle (I mean weak) but shrill creatures in their natural habitat (their Twitter page) and below I will share the stunning footage I captured along with my commentary on this peculiar species of ANTIFA, the Homo Sapien Communistus.
ANTIFA fail to show signs of cognitive function that are in any way comparable to other Sapiens known on planet Earth. ANTIFA’s social habits are likewise mysterious. Instead of flinging feces like their closer cousins they are known to throw bricks and bike-locks. ANTIFA communicate in bizarre hoots and chants, mockingly similar to a distant Anglo dialect…yet it’s use is clearly repetitive and primitive in nature as one could observe in the lower strata of Primate society.
Also, one might observe that ANTIFA suffer from “reverse genderism” wherein the females are much larger and stronger than the males. This could easily be the source of rage among the louder and much larger female-like specimens, some of whom are hardly identifiable as such. This lead to great confusion and reluctant lesbianism among ANTIFA. The males however clearly suffer from sexual emasculation, which is the primary cause for their occasional violence upon their own Native Habitat…usually the local Starbucks. Both sexes of ANTIFA consume copious amounts of soy in their natural habitat, further increasing the sexual androgyny, confusion and sexual frustration.
This my fellow adventurers, is what we have found.