By Frank Brosell
The Pro-Choice argument is ideologically inconsistent with those who feel forced to bear the label. The obvious implication is that if one is not Pro-Choice, then they obviously do not care about the happiness and well-being of women. This is a blatant falsehood and it falls on the shoulders of men for allowing it persist. 76% of men for example, disagree with the notion that abortion should be publicly funded or that abortion should be allowable under any circumstance. Yet that is precisely what they are forced to project when they take on a label that they feel reflects their desire for women’s freedom and happiness.
Growing up as a young man I received plenty of advice on what a man is and how a man should behave. On how a man should provide, support and protect his woman or wife. It is not strange to me looking back that most of this advice and expectations were laid upon me by women. Starting with my mother, my sisters, my aunts and then close friends, I was characteristically groomed into a strong and upright protector and provider, because the women around me demanded it of me.
Because of the coercive nature of the Pro-Choice dogma, women no longer receive any such advice from the men in their lives, especially in regards to their roles in the home and family life. Men have been virtually mute on the subject and it has lead many women to great misery.
The absence of this exchange of ideals has lead to many peripheral consequences, but for the purposes of this article I will stay only on the topic of abortion and how erroneously women view how men truly feel on the issue.
Most men, regardless of whether they label themselves as “Pro-Life” or “Pro-Choice” hold the practice of abortion with contempt. We hate it. We despise it. We loathe it with a loathing that can only be compared with the loathing we feel towards other men who abuse women.
The next question is, why do men loathe abortion so much when it does not directly involve them? Well, here’s the shocker for you. We loathe abortion because we love women. Men do have, and are entitled to have some basic standard or ideal when it comes to what is a good woman. This basic standard is the woman worthy of protection and provision. Men by instinct want to be able to provide for a nurturing and caring mother for his potential offspring. As such no man sees any woman in his life, in his direct sphere of influence, as worthy of being subjected to even being forced to consider giving up on a life growing inside of her. As such, it is presumed that no good woman would consider getting an abortion unless she were being used by a weak and unworthy male. That’s why we instinctively loathe abortion. We see it as the failure of the man who got her pregnant; a male who does not, can not or will not protect or provide for her. He has failed to do what our own mothers and other women in our lives had worked so hard to instill in us.
Whether these presumptions of men are correct or incorrect, these perceptions of men are nearly universal. Not even the good man who labels himself “Pro-Choice” is free of these perceptions. It is important for modern women to come to grips with these perceptions because they need to understand that the only kind of man who wants any woman in his life to “Shout Your Abortion” is a pimp. And I mean that with every ounce of negative connotation possible. The only kind of man who looks forward to and desires any woman he knows personally to undergo the experience of getting an abortion is the kind of man who will exploit and use women. He will not spend an ounce of his time or energy protecting or providing for them, in fact he will likely thrust upon them the burden of providing for him and such women will get next to nothing in return. The sooner women come to grips with this reality, the less likely they will be convinced through the coercive label of “Pro-Choice”, that the men rooting for their abortions are the same men who will step up for them. Because they won’t. And the only reason any woman could possibly believe they might comes from a lack of understanding men.
Now that we have discussed why men feel some attachment to the issue of abortion, we should ask whether or not their concerns are correct. That is a valid criticism. But unfortunately, the gut instinct of men on this matter is not mistaken in the slightest.
It turns out that of all the reasons women get an abortion, less than 2% are due to rape or incest. Also, the majority of the causes (Unmarried, Can’t afford a baby, husband does not provide enough support, husband unemployed, Don’t want to be a single mother/having relationship problems, husband wants me to get an abortion…and quite a few more) all come down to her not having the faith to bring a child into this world because the man is unworthy of her trust with that life. All of these various excuses revolve around an inadequate partner, and not her desire to be a mother. And women need to know that men will as a rule hold other men accountable for that tragedy. But again, because of the label “Pro-Choice”, why would any woman think to ask?
We men loathe abortion with a loathing that can only be compared with the loathing we feel towards other men who abuse women, because we know that it is the abuses of men that lead women to seek an abortion in the first place. That is not a mystery, not to men at least. After all, it is men who made abortion legally accessible, despite loathing it so, to protect women. That is why there is great inequity in favor of women in divorce case rulings and custody battles. It is all done predominantly by men, with laws created by men, to protect women.
What women today are failing to realize however is that in the ever-pushing agenda for gender equality, is that your right to an abortion and the pro-woman penalties against men for child care and divorce settlements, are legal contradictions that will not survive eternally. Either men will be socially and financially accountable to and for women in our society, or women will be on their own in every respect imaginable. And whether we want to admit it or not that decision will be founded on our stances on abortion.
Should women have the right to terminate or save a fetus as she deems fit, and be solely responsible for that life without any penalty to any man, or should we choose to protect life and the women who must bear it? In a society that seeks true individual freedom, one of these two outcomes will be the eventual end-game. I am realizing that on a basic, carnal and instinctive level almost all men whether they label themselves as “Pro-Life” or “Pro-Choice” are inclined to promote life and protect women as opposed to disregarding life and leaving women to fend for themselves.
The label of “Pro-Choice” for most men is coercive in nature. Men flock to it trying to reconcile their own closely-held opinions, with some of women’s earnest needs. I hope I have also conveyed how destructive that label is to women. That it is an intentionally wide tent of various and complex beliefs about abortion that includes good men, but is also a political safe space for abusers and users of women.
I will close by admonishing men to be far more vocal about their beliefs, and not just on abortion, but what we would like to see in the women of our society. What values should they embody? What habits should they form? What natures should they cultivate? Our women have been far too long deprived of our voices and our standards for the women of our society.
“The opinions expressed are the author’s thoughts and do not necessarily reflect the Liberalists as a whole”